fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
