There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
