i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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