I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fuck appropriateness.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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