I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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