So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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