Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize