why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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