singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
