I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
