discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
