My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
