Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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