I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
