no, he came in my armpit
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
