sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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