the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
