stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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