I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
