"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
