bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
