he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize