i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
