I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
