covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
