Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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