If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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