i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
