dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My vagina just recognized that song.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
