i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
