She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
