just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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