Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
