The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
