I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
