hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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