There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
