My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize