my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
