My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Let's get the cat blown out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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