My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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