operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
