So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
