Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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