Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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