I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
