Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didn't notice because vodka
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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