Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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