So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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