And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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