i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
