Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
