She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
