I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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