still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize
