I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
