i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
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Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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