DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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