i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
