it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
