You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
