Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
