In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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