I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ketchup is God's man juice
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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