So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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