By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
her facebook's as public as her vagina
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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