At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
