i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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